As you all know my boyfriend is moving, sometime in the next few days actually. I spent last night loading up most of his things into my Grandparents van and now I'm basically in a holding pattern waiting to find out when he can actually get into his new apartment. I was dreading this week. I was dreading him organizing and packing and leaving, but now that he's actually in the process of doing so, I can't wait for it all to just be over. I know that sounds terrible, but right now all of his time, energy, and brain-power is wrapped up in this move (and he still needs me to tell him he can use packing tape to reinforce a box. go figure.) and there is literally no space in his head for anything else. I'll be very, very glad when there's space again. Unconditional support is a lovely sentiment that should be reserved for nuns or monks or other people who have nothing else going on in their lives but being married to Jesus.
My Father likes to tell me "No man is an island." John Donne was a very smart man. Unfortunately, sometimes being an island is one's only option; it's easy for people to get to you, to take your resources and languish in the wasting of your time, but it's nearly impossible for you to reach out to them, to get something back for all of the things you're willingly giving. There is no reciprocation.
Sometimes, the only solution is distraction - burying every stray emotion with books and fanfiction, eating copious amounts of homemade brownies, and in those quiet moments when it becomes apparent that you've been abandoned for a better