Saturday, April 11, 2009

Easter. Oh Dear...

Easter and I haven't gotten along very well the last few years. I lost someone in my family who I loved desperately a week before Easter not too long ago and it's been hell ever since. I can't concentrate, I'm moody, clumsy, and I hardly sleep at all. I spend the entire week chanting to myself that I need to keep moving, keep busy, and I can make it through.... although, it never seems to work out that way. Inevitably something goes wrong and I turn into a complete mess of mush, I snap at people when I don't really mean to, and I always forget something.
......Like, for example, an Easter present for my Mother who goes through the trouble of hiding eggs for me every year just so we can laugh at my crappy egg detecting skills. So now here I am, 10:30 on the night before Easter crocheting her a multi-colored penis with fuzzy, multi-colored testicles. Yes, she'll love it.

I did manage to finish all of the Jelly Baby colors this week and added a new color - Mint Green. They are so cute, I could just eat them up - no pun intended, really. I'm going to post them and their overwhelming adorableness on Monday. Also, a customer (a real customer!) saw my grin in the Treasury and purchased it! And I have a custom order sock monkey in the works.. Closet Kitsch is, thankfully, well underway since it's the most fun I've had developing a pattern in a long time. It gives me the opportunity to let out my deviant side.. and she doesn't get out to play very much.

From that previous paragraph one would think I would be on cloud 9, but, frankly, I'm in a funk. I hate thinking about holidays and the way things used to be and how much I miss the good old days. It's all so depressing. I had an early Easter dinner at my one Grandmother's house today and, while walking out the door, I almost burst into tears thinking about how fragile relationships are and how easily people can just disappear from your life. I know, really cheery stuff. Tomorrow I spend Easter with my Father - one of the only people I know who has a harder time with Easter than I do. But we'll talk, we'll watch American Idol and eat pie and exchange gifts and we'll pretend we're not lonely and wishing things hadn't turned out like this. All I want to do is curl up in a huge blanket on the couch and watch Stargate episodes until my brain melts out of my ears.. it has to be better than this.

As much as I would like to stay and continue to depress everyone, I have a penis to make and the first season of Boston Legal to watch, for the fourth time... Hey, at least it's funny. Something should be.

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