Work work work.

Yikes, I have a lot to do. Drafting and sketching and painting and.. well, I should stop listing everything before my brain explodes. I'm jacked up on iced coffee and I'm currently in a holding pattern waiting for my frozen pizza to be done bubbling and oozing in the oven. I'm tired and awake, frustrated and excited, achey and determined all at the same time....

I have a feeling it's going to be a late night.

To keep myself going I've been plushie-hunting on the internet..

I've decided this needs to be my next conquest:

I mean, c'mon.. how could I possibly resist Perry the Platypus' googlie eyes!

And then perhaps I'll spring for this little guy:

Because a plush spleen is exactly what every girl dreams about..... right?
Okay, maybe it's just what I dream about, but it's still completely adorable!

In addition to plushies and iced coffee, I've decided that if I'm going to make it, some things definitely need to change. Bottom line: I need to clean house... Out with the annoying in with the helpful. People, I mean..

I'll let you know how it goes.

Sometimes it's all about Peanut Butter.

It's tough juggling a huge workload and a messy family. It tends to leave one drained, frustrated, and otherwise useless.. a state not entirely conducive to creativity. And considering I go to an art school, that poses a serious problem. Which is why I've decided to deem today a "Mental Health Day" and pop open a brand new jar of Jif. I have season 4 of Boston Legal all cued up and some drafting homework in front of me and I just finished some meditating and yoga. It's time to get some shit back on track.


I can't control my workload, only when I can get things done. I can't control the amount of pressure they're going to put on me, only how I respond to it. I can't control the actions or reactions of others, only how I much of it I choose to ignore. It seems all about choices these days. Choices to be more productive and less distracted, more confident and less stifled, more creative and less stressed; choices that are going to leave me happier and at peace.


But I can't make all of those choices today. Rome, or so I've been told, wasn't built in a day, and neither can the new, less-"I'm going to chuck you out a window" me. Today, however, I can decide to enjoy this jar of peanut butter and this spectacular season of Boston Legal. Today I can laugh and cry with Alan and Denny and comandeer a jar of peanut buttery sandwich spread and feel decadent and rediculous all at the same time. Today I can think about James Spader in a Coast Guard uniform and giggle when I picture him trying to do my lettering homework (still in uniform, of course). Today I can decide that those things are important, that those are the things that matter, and I can find joy in them.


Because, really, that's all life's about, right?
Living big and laughing often.

Green with... well.. Pinocchio.

So here I am, only the third week of school and already I want to bury my head in a pillow and my sorrows in copious amounts of cookies. The workload is rediculous, as are the hours, and sometimes the density of people makes me want to physically assault them, but other than those things, it's good to be back.

Unfortunately, the only problem seems to be that most of my classes are Designer-oriented, while I'm studying to be a Costume Tech. Every day seems to be filled with comment after comment along the lines of "It seems to me that you're just not thinking like a designer."

Huh. Wonder why that could be?

To combat all of that horribleness, the first thing I did when I walked in the door this afternoon was make a batch of these new Resees No-Bake peanut butter & chocolate bars.

They. Are. MAGNIFICENT!

And while using this brilliant green spatula to help stir them, I started thinking of other green things... and then other adorable things.... and then...

The fabled Pinocchio plushie!

I oogled this little guy for sometime before finally getting him on sale a few weeks ago... here he is traveling around my apartment.

Surveying the landscape from the ficus tree in the living room just like a real scout.

Aww! He's communing with the local wildlife! (Although, I don't think he realizes it's just plastic)

His attempt to infultrate the fridge was rather unsuccessful... He's not very stealthy.

I made him settle for some kettle cooked chips and control of the remote instead of the peanut butter & chocolate goodies... healthier? probably not. But the dessert simply wasn't ready yet!

Speaking of dessert, here's a sneak peak at my latest project... It's both sweet and adorable! I can't wait to finish.
I have so many new patterns I want to post in the shop, but honestly, the whole shop needs a serious re-boot. New pictures, new banner, new marketing campaign.. ::sigh:: It's a lot of work I have no time for, so until I can make some time, the shop is going to continue to be on hiatus.

Also, as a side note, I'm thinking of taking up silkscreening......

It's been a long time coming...

So here I am with school about to start in less than a week and I couldn't be more excited. I can't wait to see all my friends again, to get back to work, to feel like I have some kind of purpose - like I'm working towards something again. Also, I'm bright-eyed and bushy-tailed after returning from vacationing in Disney World with my Dad (we drive down every year - it's a fantastic mess and I love every minute of it).

To start the year off right, I've spent the last few days surrounded by some amazing people. Tuesday was the movies, today was bubble tea and a shopping extravaganza! I can't even describe the two awesome pairs of boots I purchased today..... or the adorable hat.

I'm still trying to work on some new stuff for the shop. I'm not quite sure when it's going to be back up, but when it does reappear, it's going to be chock full o' goodies!

To tide you over until then, here is an fantastic, completely unrelated picture of Karl Urban as everyone's favorite Lord of the Mark, Eomer.

Birthday!

Well, now that it's my birthday and I've spent the last few days making my heart as cold and frosty as a frozen Lean Cuisine, I can finally enjoy myself (at least more than I was). I went shopping at Anthropologie today and picked up some adorable new sweaters:

I've been lining up some online purchases now that I have some serious birthday money:

I'm also using food, sugary drinks and fan fiction in addition to my inordinate spending to try to build some semblance of a life and remain as chilly as possible in the face of.. well, everything.

I'm so hollow, baby.

Well, he's gone.
He's gone and I'm a bundle of contradicting emotions and unfulfilled needs- I'm happy for him and excited for all of the opportunities that lie ahead of him, but I'm also lonely and frustrated and restless and confused.

It's almost 3am and no matter how many of the questions running through my head I try to answer, there always seem to be more. It seems through all of this, we've just become friends who kiss occasionally. I can't reduce my daily life into 160 characters or less and neither can he. Texting is a shitty way to communicate and it certainly doesn't help with my detachment issues. Things happen, good and bad, and he misses so much, as I'm sure I do as well. I really thought getting all of this out of the way would give us more time to get closer again, but the move itself just seems to have intensified my loneliness and frustration and our detachment.

I can feel myself beginning to build walls again. I'm allowing my life to be consumed by reruns of Star Trek and terribly written fanfiction. I spend my days mapping out countless crochet projects and my nights reading romance novels littered with pirates and princesses and relationships that work out despite the fact that the heroine used to be a snob or a prostitute and the prince has a skin disease. I play out elaborate scenarios about Paris in my head and pretend I'll actually make it there someday. I pretend things are better. I'm steeling myself. I'm pulling away.

My birthday is Monday and I've never been less excited about it. I guess I'll have to build a few more walls and mentally box up a few more things if I'm going to get through this week, let alone beyond that. Bring on the imaginary packing tape - it's time to clean house.

It may be over but it won't stop there,I am here for you if you'd only care.You touched my heart, you touched my soul.You changed my life and all my goals.And love is blind and that I knew whenMy heart was blinded by you.I've kissed your lips and held your hand,Shared your dreams and shared your bed,I know you well, I know your smell.I've been addicted to you.Goodbye my lover.Goodbye my friend.You have been the one.You have been the one for me.

I'm sick.

It currently feels as if there is something that has weaseled its way underneath my face and is now trying to escape by pushing against the underside of my cheekbones and attempting to remove my skin. It's gruesome and painful and very ill-timed. I have projects to finish, a shop to update, and a birthday coming up! And, on top of all of that, my DVD player seems to be completely wigging out making it impossible for me to watch anything. Now I get to watch VH1's 100 greatest songs of the 90s for about the 30th time. Today is decidedly not cool.

My father is convinced that being so stressed and angry has burned up all of my B-vitamins therefore making it more likely that I'll be sick. He bought me some organic green grapes and spent yesterday brandishing them at me as if they were a cure-all. Super, right? In his defense, they were really good grapes. Now I'm eating brownies and downing Sudafed chased with Mountain Dew. Like I said, today is decidedly not cool.

Time to go bury my face in a pillow and pray for some relief.. or at least some company.

Gratuitous photo (courtesy of GQ Germany. Volkswagens and now this.. I think the Germans may be making a comeback. Just saying.)