Green with... well.. Pinocchio.

So here I am, only the third week of school and already I want to bury my head in a pillow and my sorrows in copious amounts of cookies. The workload is rediculous, as are the hours, and sometimes the density of people makes me want to physically assault them, but other than those things, it's good to be back.

Unfortunately, the only problem seems to be that most of my classes are Designer-oriented, while I'm studying to be a Costume Tech. Every day seems to be filled with comment after comment along the lines of "It seems to me that you're just not thinking like a designer."

Huh. Wonder why that could be?

To combat all of that horribleness, the first thing I did when I walked in the door this afternoon was make a batch of these new Resees No-Bake peanut butter & chocolate bars.

They. Are. MAGNIFICENT!

And while using this brilliant green spatula to help stir them, I started thinking of other green things... and then other adorable things.... and then...

The fabled Pinocchio plushie!

I oogled this little guy for sometime before finally getting him on sale a few weeks ago... here he is traveling around my apartment.

Surveying the landscape from the ficus tree in the living room just like a real scout.

Aww! He's communing with the local wildlife! (Although, I don't think he realizes it's just plastic)

His attempt to infultrate the fridge was rather unsuccessful... He's not very stealthy.

I made him settle for some kettle cooked chips and control of the remote instead of the peanut butter & chocolate goodies... healthier? probably not. But the dessert simply wasn't ready yet!

Speaking of dessert, here's a sneak peak at my latest project... It's both sweet and adorable! I can't wait to finish.
I have so many new patterns I want to post in the shop, but honestly, the whole shop needs a serious re-boot. New pictures, new banner, new marketing campaign.. ::sigh:: It's a lot of work I have no time for, so until I can make some time, the shop is going to continue to be on hiatus.

Also, as a side note, I'm thinking of taking up silkscreening......

Well, well, well.. a new idea!

Lately I've been having a very hard time finding inspiration for new crochet patterns. I guess it's the same creative rut that every artist goes through. I happen to find it particularly frustrating because every time I can't figure out something new to work up, I try my hand at knitting, ultimately fail, and then get super frustrated at the fact that I still can't figure out where to put the damn needles and my left hand hurts in places it never does when I crochet making it virtually unuseable for a good 48 hours afterward.

So, after having gone through that seemingly inevitable process a few days ago, I finally managed to eek out some new sketches... without the use of my left hand, of course.

I'm developing a new free pattern and a few new goodies to put in the shop, so be on the look out!


I'm headed to the shore this weekend, so no blogging for me, but before I go, I just wanted to share this adorable babies from Regina over at everyeskimo.

This is wheezie

And this is tillie

These little guys are oeuflings, or the miniature creatures that hatch out of unfound easter eggs. I can't decide which one I love more, although tillie is starting to pull on my heartstrings quite a bit. You really should pop over to her shop and check them out along with the oodles of vintage goodies she sells and her fabulous embroidery pieces.

And.. even though I said there was going to be a gratuitous boyfriend picture in this post.. I decided to go with a gratuitous gato picture instead.. mostly because she's rubbing up against my leg as I'm typing and I can't resist.

This is my Luna... isn't she adorable? When she isn't trying to rip my face off, that is.......

Of cupcakes and plant stands and cherry lime soda..

My fingers are killing me.

The downside of being catus-obsessed, I suppose. I set up a new, incredibly pink plant stand tonight which involved moving some wayward cactuses from where they had taken a prolonged pit-stop on the dining room table (ruining a tablecover in the process, I might add. Some plants you just can't take anywhere) into my bedroom.

They seem happy with their brightly colored pots and miniature umbrellas.. not as happy as I am though. That plant stand was successfully garbage picked, and now after having been painted a candy-coated shade of bubblegum pink looks as good as new and worth far more than the $40 miniature one I priced at Urban Outfitters last week. Yooo-hoo! Hipsters! I think you may be getting ripped off... but maybe it's just me. Perhaps paying an inflated price for miniature decor is part of the allure of hipsterdom.

In case you haven't noticed, the blog has gotten a bit of a face lift. New color scheme, same basic premise. The shop has been re-stocked, I have new business cards on the way, and now I'm sitting back, enjoying a rainbow striped cupcake and a cherry limeaide... and picking the minute spines out of my finger tips. Oh summertime. Does it get any better than this?

Oh wait.. It can! Danielle from Danielleorama is giving away an adorable owl brooch that just makes me melt. All you have to do is pop over to her site and post a comment listing your favorite things about summer (the only hard part about that is narrowing down all the choices) and your email address. Then you're immediately entered to win! The contest goes through June 24th so you better head over there fast. Trust me, you don't want to miss it.




I'm tempted to throw in a gratuitous boyfriend picture right about now, but he may just kill me..... perhaps in the next post...

This is Halloween..

this is Halloween.. Halloween! Halloween!


Okay, well.. not yet. But the Halloween 09 Crochet Pattern Collection is now available in my Etsy Shop! Yay!

Here they are! From Left to Right: Creature from the Blue Lagoon and Baby, The Devil's Marshmallow, and Cute Bunnies Like Body Parts too.

So go! Check them out and tell all your friends!

It's Monday and I think we all need a laugh

I leaf through a lot of crocheted toys, patterns, and the like so to see something that not only suprises me but makes me laugh, is as shocking as it is delightful. SquidHead runs an adorable little Etsy shop full of crocheted octopus plushies that I am completely in love with. And, perhaps because I have a bit of a screw loose myself, her Octopussy is, by far, my favorite. Now before you all run off screaming things like "That's so lewd!" and "I'm reporting you to the Better Business Bureau!" take a moment to appreciate not only the humor but the creative genius behind this little baby.I mean, c'mon, if that doesn't tickle your funny bone, you're either dead or a Televangelist.

So, in conclusion, I think you should all wander over to her Shop, check her out on Flickr, or just go buy something for Christ's sake because she's obviously fabulous.

[Update!: SquidHead and I have agreed to swap a custom Moby Pete plush for an Octopussy! ::squee:: I feel like a little kid on Christmas!]

I thought I made it very clear I was hiding in a corner this week.. hrumph!

Yay! It's officially Friday! Bring on the It's-a-fabulous-friday-let's-go-crazy, fruity, girly drinks and Golden Girls marathon that always accompany the end of the week bliss, or at least, should accompany said end of the week bliss, especially after a week like this one has been. No matter how hard I tried to hide under my desk underneath tons of wrinkly old blankets and eat my cookies and wallow in miserable Etsy failure in peace, something always seemed to come up, to require attention, or to bump up against me like a Shark trolling for food (okay, that last one was the cat). Now it's finally Friday and I can take really and truly take a deep breath.. or lots of shallow ones. Quantity over Quality really isn't as bad as people make it out to be.

I know I should be sleeping but I'm too busy now making a list of things to do tomorrow. I had the rather unfortunate luck of running into my own doorframe in my kitchen tonight and I'm now sporting a rather fashionable bruise on my right hand. Black and Blue is all the rage. Trust me, you heard it here first. I really should give my hand at least 4 days minimum before I jump back on the crocheting train but I know my head will simply explode with boredom in that time so I'm giving it till Saturday and then I'm picking up the next project. Period. Anyway, this entire round-about anecdote (eerily reminiscent of one of my Grandmother's lengthy, strung-out stories to the point that I'm almost uncomfortable) was to explain why I'm fervently list-making: I have a free day tomorrow to do all of the little things that have been piling up of late... I can organize my new index cards, clean my desk, pot some Spider plant babies, tend to a rather ornery Snake Plant [AN: I didn't realize until just now how many of my plants are named after creepy things in the Animal Kingdom and I don't think I want to really read too much into it], take a yarn inventory, mend some vintage blankets and, of course, watch some Golden Girls. Oh, and even though I'm poor, perhaps I'll splurge and treat myself to this shirt.. Crazy Dog Tshirts has it for a semi-reasonable price.. Then again.. maybe I'll just continue to oogle it for a while. You have to admit though, it's pretty damn snazzy. Ooo.. I can just see it under a Cardigan!
And, yes, I secretly am an old lady. That's why cats like me so much.

Maybe I'll make that shirt my treat when I complete my first custom crochet order.. which, (cross your fingers) if it works out, will be quite a substantial amount of work along with quite a substantial amount of money. That shirt can be my pie in the sky! Mmm. Pie.

Anyway, my list is done, my hand is iced, and I'm off to sleep. Happy Weekend Everyone!

Oh, and as an aside, if you do decide to check out Crazy Dog Tshirts, be sure to check out the Halloween Costume page. I hate to say it but, as usual, Jim Gaffigan is right, Halloween is just an excuse for grown women to dress like sluts.. I nearly choked on my water (yes, I'm off the DoubleShots) when I saw the Strawberry Shortcake costume.. Yikes! Holy Hooker, Batman! (and don't even get me started on Ghostbusters Girl...)

The Shop's Going on Vacation.. unfortunately, I'm not.

So the shop is going on vacation today until next Tuesday, July 28th... exciting, right? This is the part where you try to figure out what exotic place I'll be basking in for the next week, what unforgiving mountain side I'll be daring to climb, what untamed jungle I'll be battling my way through with nothing but a bottle of Pellegrino and a Machete... Ocean Grove, New Jersey, kids. (By the by, you can all breathe that collective sigh of relief now that you know no one was stupid enough to give me something sharper than a butter knife or leave me alone in a jungle)

The Ocean Grove Ladies Auxiliary Bazaar is this coming Friday and Saturday and I've been helping out since I was a wee little one, selling things at my own 5 and dime table. Now, I've been promoted to the uber-glamorous job of selling and packing dishes and will be spending my week setting the tables up, moving boxes (since I'm the only one there not eligible for an AARP card and therefore the only one that can move anything), selling, moving more boxes, battling rogue insects, and packing up people's purchases. It's a grueling week and by the time I get to Sunday, I always feel as if I've trekked up the side of Everest or just survived a bout of some exotic disease. Since an internet hub is a bit hard to track down in God's Square Mile (yes, that is Ocean Grove's nickname. And, yes, I know what you're thinking, I can't believe they haven't chased me out of town with pitchforks yet either) I've decided to put the shop on vaca, develop a few new patterns, and post them beginning next Tuesday when I'll be feeling a little bit less like I'm going to die.

So wish me luck, all.. I'm going to need it.

Oh.. and did I mention that all members of the Ladies Auxiliary are required to wear the official red Ladies Auxiliary shirts - at all times? Oh yes.

Thank you for being a friend..

Friday night and here I am watching the Golden Girls (and loving it). Why, yes, I am a raunchy 80 year old woman trapped in a younger body - issues? Nope, didn't think so..

This week I've been featured on two fabulous blogs by two incredibly fabulous people (who I absolutely adore).

First, Michele from By Your Side asked me to do an interview. You can read it, and all of the lovely comments that were left, here. Her blog is great, filled with her new fabric purchases and pictures of the purses she designs and creates herself. You really should go and check it out, especially if you're on the hunt for the perfect bag.

And then today, as if this week wasn't filled with enough uber-flattering moments, EveryEskimo, easily my favorite felt plushie creator, featured my little crocheted sperm on her blog. Her "Tee vs. Dress" posts are insightful and always showcase clothes that have me drooling, and her softies are macabre, hilarious, ironic, and, really, everything you could ever want.

So go! Check them out! Drool, Oogle, and all that jazz - and support them, because they're amazing.

It is Monday, right?

I swear, days have been running together lately.. I hardly know whether I'm coming or going!

Ginger was delivered last Thursday to the Art Whino gallery along with her consignment form. I believe I made the right decision as far as the price is concerned so we'll see if she has any takers!

I also finished a new crochet pattern over the weekend that will be posted in the shop tomorrow!

"Peanut Butter" Get it? I know it's corny, but in a "Wow, that's totally adorable and I need it!" kind of way. I also have a couple of other patterns in the works.. and that's always fun!

We'll see where the rest of the week leads.

xoxo

Carry On My Wayward Son..

Before you all say anything, I won't accept any flack for the Kansas-inspired title of this entry so get over it.. and if you're really having issues with it, just think about it this way, I could have used "Dust in the Wind"..... Yeah. Now don't you love my title? ;)

This last week has been a busy and totally exciting one. Of course there were moments when all I could think about was the loss of my friend, but that's the way it goes. His memorial service was the weekend before last and seeing all the people that were such a huge part of his life and reminiscing with them made him seem so alive, as if he was going to just walk through the door any minute and call us all "dumb fucks" for actually buying into his ridiculous prank. It's the moments when I remind myself that he's never going to walk through that door again that are the hardest to get through, but that's when you put your nose to the grindstone and crochet through it. And, remember, I did say it was an exciting week, so bear with me here.

Tuesday I found out Ginger (my tri-headed hydra plush toy) had been accepted into the Mortal Plush show! I'll be sending her out tomorrow as soon as I decide on a price.. I have two consignment forms sitting here with two different prices, we'll see which one I end up sending.

And, in more super exciting news, there are three new crochet patterns for sale in the shop:

Siamese Cherries, double the trouble

Mr. & Mrs. Mushroom Secret Keepers

Cinnamon Bun with Extra Frosting

You can find them here in my Etsy shop! Aren't they adorable? I absolutely love selling patterns.. if only because I get to keep whatever I make. (I know it's awful, but I'm terribly greedy when it comes to adorable crocheted food)

I got my shipment of 200 9mm safety eyes in today so that means a chance for 100 new crocheted babies!... Hmm.. Now that I acctually see that number on paper, I think I'm going to need some more shelves... Oh dear. I'm going to go have some oatmeal, that always makes me feel better.

To all of my Readers and Friends..

I'm just going to come out and say it - these last few weeks have brought about some trying times. The shop seems to be failing and I'm barely squeezing out new ideas... I've been trying to bring new life into this blog by starting the "Fab Finds Friday" entries, but I honestly can't do it anymore. A few months ago a very dear friend of my family was diagnosed with Cancer. The doctors said it was curable, that they could save his life. He received the best treatment and the most qualified specialists.. and it did absolutely nothing. The Cancer migrated to his brain and took up home there, growing until he couldn't even recognize his husband, the man that had loved and cared for him for many years. He died last Thursday.

I want to keep the shop up and running, but the gimmicks have to go. No more "Fab Finds Friday," no more spending hours a day on Twitter - I'll be around, but for the next few weeks, until I can get my head in a better place, I won't be living on the computer. In the next few days, I'll be posting some new patterns for sale in the shop and I hope that does the trick, if not, honestly, life is way too short to worry about it.

Friday already? Really? Oh well.. Lets see some Fleamarket Finds!

Sheesh.. how can it be Friday already? It's been one of those odd weeks where I've been trying to get alot accomplished but I seem to be moving in slow motion, like I'm stuck in Jell-o. It's very frustrating. I have a few new patterns I'm going to be posting in the shop by the end of next week which I'm hoping will bring in some sales.

On a happier note, last Saturday was the Spring Fleamarket in Ocean Grove, New Jersey. For those of you who may not know (which is probably everyone) Ocean Grove is a small historic district on the coast of New Jersey between Asbury Park and Bradley Beach. My Grandparents have one of the historic tent-houses and I've spent my summers there from the time I was a wee little one. There are two fleamarkets during the season, one in the spring and one in the fall, and they are both absolutely fab. Here are the highlights of my purchases:

A super old bread box that is currently holding my panties (odd, yes. practical, yes again)

Vintage DMC and Coats & Clark Embroidery books.. all the pages are still there, including the transfer patterns.. Can you believe DMC acctually has a pattern for you to cross stitch a zebra?

Some Tunisian Crochet hooks (which I was so excited about! I can't find any in my local craft stores) and wooden knitting needles.

How is this chenille blanket not the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? It's double bed sized and has that great ruffle around the bottom. It's so kitschy and completely irresistable! I simply couldn't leave it there.

It was a really wonderful day.. I only hope this weekend will be just as nice (although judging by the weather, I don't think there's a snowball's chance in hell of that).

Woosh.. Star Trek

What a long and totally uninspiring week.

I started and stopped and restarted my follow-up Mortal Plush submission three times, I sketched and resketched my next Craftster challenge entry twice, AND I managed to come up with no (yes, I just said "no") new ideas. I hate weeks like that - they feel like such a waste! Lump on top of that the fact I haven't sold anything in nearly a month and I was just about ready to drown my sorrows in bags and bags of Reese's Pieces.

However! Thanks to copious amounts of Stargate:Atlantis, the release of Star Trek (which I went to see twice in a period of three days and wore my Captain Kirk shirt both times because I am, indeed, a total nerd), and way too many chocolate covered strawberries - I got my groove back. The plush is 1/3 finished, the challenge entry is designed and begun, AND, be prepared, because I will be doing a give-away this week.

More details to follow.. I may even amend this post later to include photos of the first stages of my new plush..

Look! Tentacles! and Mouth-Parts!

Contests.

I must be a glutton for punishment. The only thing I've ever won in my life was an afghan in a Chinese Auction when I was eight - nothing before that, nothing since - and this month, I've decided to dive head-first not only into the "Eggcellent Upcycling" challenge on Craftster but to throw my work, my Ginger, out there to be considered for the Mortal Plush exhibit (read more about that here: http://www.mortalplush.blogspot.com/). It's all so completely nerve-wracking.

I took another set of pictures of her today (making that the third). Here she is scouting for her next meal..

I hope she gets accepted. I think I may be crushed if she doesn't even though I know there are far more talented artists vying for the same slot I am. The only consolation I have is there isn't a set number of entries they're accepting.. I think it gives me a better shot. Or maybe I'm just telling myself that so I'll sleep tonight.

On top of that, I have my Eggcellent Upcycling challenge entry to finish tomorrow. The idea of the challenge is to take one of those dinky plastic Easter eggs and turn them into something fab. I think my entry's quite imaginative and cute - but, again, I haven't won anything since the afghan and I'm not holding out much hope that those Craftster people will like it. I've posted both Ginger and an homage to Tom Baker on there and I can count all the comments I've gotten on them on my two hands.. clearly they weren't very popular. And then, I look at some of the things that are popular with pages and pages of people saying things like "I'm hitting 'This Rocks' all over this project" and "You're super!" and I go "Really? Because I can't quite see it.." Maybe I'm just too far off. Either way, my entry is almost finished and I can't back out now even though I'm not sure which is more devastating - being too much of a coward to enter or going through with it and not getting a single vote.

I suppose what it comes down to is that I've never been a coward.. and I don't intend to start now.

Swine Flu.. ::sigh::

The next person that says they can't eat bacon because they might get swine flu from it is getting my foot up their ass... I mean, seriously people.. YOU CAN'T GET SWINE FLU FROM EATING MEAT - IT ISN'T MAD COW!! Gosh.

Ugh. Okay. Oddly, that acctually made me feel better.

In other news that isn't nearly as infuriating, I have some babies to post tomorrow on Etsy! I finished a new Kitschy Owl tonight and, just in time for Mother's Day, some crocheted sperm. Now before you all navigate away muttering things like "Ick" and "How vulgar!" lets all try to grow up a bit. It's a novelty gift - something to make you chuckle and blush - don't all pick up your pitchforks at once.

Look! They have little smiles! How could you possibly hate that? Look for them to be posted tomorrow - you get a group of three for $9.00.

I also have some raunchy embroidered items that should be posted later in the week. I seem to be on a kick lately - first closet kitsch, now sperm, next.. witty embroidery. Hopefully it will generate some sales as I seem to have hit a dry spell. ::sigh:: I need all the help I can get!

Wee Hours of the Morning.. well.. not yet.

Hopefully I won't be up that long, but sleep seems to be illuding me of late... and I mean more than it does usually, which is really saying something. The weekend was a success - it was a great opportunity to relax even though I was plagued by Jelly Babies, which, thankfully, I've made a decision regarding. I'm going to attempt to have one of each color sitting around along with back up body parts in every color, I'm keeping them crochet to order, and I've raised the price by $1 - which may not seem like a lot but I'm hoping it will help me sleep at night. They're also getting around a bit, in addition to being posted in a forum on Indiepublic, I posted the Jelly Babies in a Tom Baker as Doctor Who homage today along with the replica of his scarf I crocheted a while back.. check it out here: http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=301884.msg3447858#msg3447858

In other news, I've been given an adorable little Napoleon to add to my collection of all things French Revolution. I seem to have an obsession with that time period and with the wee little general himself.

Isn't he adorable?!? Just look at the way he lords over everything with such authority!

He's a part of Harmony Kingdom's 2001 collection. I could never afford him but this weekend (while on vaca) I helped the people I was staying with move some furniture around and they wanted to repay me (which was TOTALLY unnecessary, but I digress).. what better way than with Napoleon? I certainly can't think of anything more fabulous.

I have one more Jelly Baby to crochet tomorrow - an Orange one.. and then I'm going to begin on my backups. I'm also going to attempt some Bread Pudding, Martha Stewart's recipe of course. We'll see how that turns out.. I hope well since I am seriously craving some. And I mean.. seriously craving.

Closet Kitsch

So! I posted the Closet Kitsch yesterday - they're risque and hilarious and I can't get over them... Check them out here: http://tilliellie.etsy.com/

I also received a ton of orders for the Jelly Babies... well, not a ton, 4 actually, but when they're crochet to order, it seems like a ton. I think after I get this batch finished and sent to their new homes I'm going to rethink their crochet to order status.. cause it's a nightmare. Literally. I'm having nightmares about gelatinous babies following me into dark alleys - not a good sign.

Speaking of signs, I posted my first custom order yesterday as well with my new "custom listing" picture and, might I say, it's very snazzy.

I also managed to finish that Christmas present I was working on and, for once, it came out on the first try. I just hope they enjoy it.

Well, I'm off to New York everyone to make Jelly Babies all weekend... not exactly the relaxing vaca I was looking forward too, but, really, is it ever?

Of Presents and Networking..

Woosh - it's been a long day. So long I acctually just used the word "woosh".... that's pretty damn long. Closet Kitsch is finished! And will be photographed and listed in all of its explicitness tomorrow... Frederick will also be finished tomorrow and listed. And in the midst of all of this I have a Christmas present to finish. Yes, hold the phone, I did just say Christmas. I'm headed to upstate New York this weekend to visit some friends who are almost impossible to buy for; I've been contemplating for months what to get them and (because I work incredibly well under pressure but not too well when I have all the time in the world) it suddenly hit me last night! I finished half of it today and I'm leaving the other half for tomorrow. I think tomorrow is going to be a long day as well.. Although I don't think I'm going to say "woosh" again.. I'm already regretting that.

I've also spent most of the day attempting to reach out to more of the online artistic community. I think it's an important thing to do if I'm going to expand my business and get myself out there. It's also fabulously fun meeting new people - it's one of the upsides to being in this business, there are so many talented, wonderful artists out there and it's a joy to be able to meet even a few of them.

I think it's going to be a long night tonight. I haven't been sleeping so well, I figure I might as well try and get some stuff done and give myself a bit of a break tomorrow. Besides, it gives me an excuse to watch some late night Boston Legal - who doesn't love that?

Okie Dokie..

Enough with the moaning. Easter's over (thank god) and I've managed to be quite productive in the last two days. Monday I spent getting most of the custom order sock monkey done - who is to be named Fredrick, in case anyone was wondering - and baking a batch of unquestionably good cookies. Today, I listed the Jelly Babies in my Etsy shop...(I told you they were adorable!!)
... posted Ginger, the three-headed hydra that graced the pages of this blog about a month ago, on Craftster (check her out http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=301064.0), and worked on my entry for the Craftster Eggcellent Upcycling challenge which is making some serious progress.

Overall, I'd have to say I'm doing a fine job putting this Easter thing behind me and moving forward. There's alot of work to be done.. I just hope I have enough Caffine to do it...

Easter. Oh Dear...

Easter and I haven't gotten along very well the last few years. I lost someone in my family who I loved desperately a week before Easter not too long ago and it's been hell ever since. I can't concentrate, I'm moody, clumsy, and I hardly sleep at all. I spend the entire week chanting to myself that I need to keep moving, keep busy, and I can make it through.... although, it never seems to work out that way. Inevitably something goes wrong and I turn into a complete mess of mush, I snap at people when I don't really mean to, and I always forget something.
......Like, for example, an Easter present for my Mother who goes through the trouble of hiding eggs for me every year just so we can laugh at my crappy egg detecting skills. So now here I am, 10:30 on the night before Easter crocheting her a multi-colored penis with fuzzy, multi-colored testicles. Yes, she'll love it.

I did manage to finish all of the Jelly Baby colors this week and added a new color - Mint Green. They are so cute, I could just eat them up - no pun intended, really. I'm going to post them and their overwhelming adorableness on Monday. Also, a customer (a real customer!) saw my grin in the Treasury and purchased it! And I have a custom order sock monkey in the works.. Closet Kitsch is, thankfully, well underway since it's the most fun I've had developing a pattern in a long time. It gives me the opportunity to let out my deviant side.. and she doesn't get out to play very much.

From that previous paragraph one would think I would be on cloud 9, but, frankly, I'm in a funk. I hate thinking about holidays and the way things used to be and how much I miss the good old days. It's all so depressing. I had an early Easter dinner at my one Grandmother's house today and, while walking out the door, I almost burst into tears thinking about how fragile relationships are and how easily people can just disappear from your life. I know, really cheery stuff. Tomorrow I spend Easter with my Father - one of the only people I know who has a harder time with Easter than I do. But we'll talk, we'll watch American Idol and eat pie and exchange gifts and we'll pretend we're not lonely and wishing things hadn't turned out like this. All I want to do is curl up in a huge blanket on the couch and watch Stargate episodes until my brain melts out of my ears.. it has to be better than this.

As much as I would like to stay and continue to depress everyone, I have a penis to make and the first season of Boston Legal to watch, for the fourth time... Hey, at least it's funny. Something should be.