Cake or Pie.

I have a scenario for you.... purely hypothetical, of course.

Let's say you have a huge sweet tooth... and I mean huge. We're talking a completely epic, creampuff annihilating, eclair eviscerating, insatiable sweet tooth here....

BUT all you've been able to eat for the last 8 months was Jell-o. Raspberry Jell-o. Watery, Robitussin-esque rasberry Jell-o day-in and day-out for 8 whole months. Your taste buds have practically shut down from over-exposure to the most banal dessert in the world and you think you're going to have to suffer like this forever. You think you're doomed to a life of boredom and understimulation and that never again will you be able to have a dessert worthy of your discerning palette.

And then suddenly, like a miracle, the Jell-o is gone. Forever. And you're just trying to recover, honestly you are, you're not taking any big steps or trying to rush your newly freed sweet tooth along. There's no creme brule or raspberry pavlova or sticky toffee pudding for you, just a cookie or maybe a few Hershey kisses if you're feeling particularly racy. You don't want anything sweeter, you don't think you're ready, you don't think you can really appreciate the depth of flavor of anything more complex.

Or maybe you can, just maybe you can.. very suddenly once again, you find yourself in the most delectable bakery you've ever seen. It's as if every sweet in there were made specifically to tempt you, to woo your taste buds back to their former glory, and you're overwhelmed.

Positively and utterly overwhelmed.

It takes you a while, but you manage to beat back the desserts that seem to be throwing themselves at you in their desperation to be sold and to fend off the ones that you know are going to taste just downright terrible. You've got it narrowed down to that age old choice: cake or pie.

On one hand you've got the pie. It's homey, comforting, and is trying so hard to be sweet and delicious. It wants you to want it, badly. And you want to want it too.. you know it's a good choice. A safe, easy, good choice.

And then there's the cake. The flashy, dangerous cake buried under some positively delectable frosting. Maybe there's something more substantial under there... in fact, you're pretty sure there is, but you know it's too sweet. You know if you choose that cake it could either be the exact thing you've always wanted or it could make you terribly and horribly sick.

You know you have a bit of an impulse control problem, that's what got you stuck in raspberry Jell-o hell to begin with... but it's your first time shopping for dessert since then and you don't want to settle....

So what do you choose?

Cake or Pie?

Truth.

Things I am:


Impatient. It gets me in trouble a lot, but it's a habit I can't seem to kick. I want what I want when I want it and I can't understand why people aren't as decisive or demanding as I am. It also causes me to run head-first into things, often without thinking. Bottom line - it gets me in trouble. Often.


Moody. I'm never neutral about anything. Ever. I'm constantly bouncing from one extreme to another, especially if I haven't eaten. You don't want to see me pre-coffee and a donut in the morning.. it's a scary, scary thing. Like Roger-Moore-in-Octopussy scary. Yeah. I know. It's really bad.


Judgmental. I either like you or I don't.. either way, though, when I see you, I'm going to judge what you're wearing, what you're saying, and what you're doing and, if I think it's rediculous, I will mock you for it until I'm dead or you do something stupider. Just expect it and move on.


Sarcastic/Inappropriate. I always say the wrong thing. Always. I know what the right thing is, but I love watching people squirm (and I'm very good at making it happen). I don't pull punches, I don't shut my mouth just because it's disrespectful, and I don't answer to anyone. If you don't want me to target you, don't come near me, because I can't help myself. Simple as that.



Things I'm not:


Nice. Here, wait, let me repeat it again.. I am not nice. Not at all. You may think I am, but that's because you haven't done anything stupid enough for me to mock yet. I'm constantly calculating, constantly judging, and if I'm not saying anything mean, it's because I'm thinking something mean or texting something mean about you to the person standing next to you. Oh yes. I do that.


Slow. Don't ever assume I don't know what's going on. I probably know what stupid stunt you're going to pull before you've even figured it out yet. Don't let the pom-pom hat fool you, I am not a simpleton. I know. I get it. Assuming I'm a step behind you is going to be your downfall.


Too young. I'm 20 years old. Age-wise, I'm a wee little baby, but I grew up around old people. Lots and lots of old people who decided it was their mission in life to teach me about "things." I know what TV show, movie, song, or otherwise out-dated nonsense you're talking about. You're not going over my head. Trust me. I'm with you. I know Hawaii-50 isn't new, I know Sunny Crocket wasn't originally played by Colin Farrell, Yes, the Thomas Crown Affair was better with Steve McQueen, No, I'm not amused by the fact that you only know one song by The Eagles... Stop underestimating me. You're really just embarrassing yourself.


Average. The things I find funny, cute, or otherwise amusing are not going to appeal to anyone in the same way. Put indelicately, I like things other people find creepy and fucked-up. That's just me. I'm not boring, but I'm certainly not who you bring home to Mom. No really.. your Mom will hate me.




Well.. there you have it. The worst of me.

SO! Who wants a hug now?

High Demand.

Seems like everybody wants a piece of me these days.... and it's starting to get a bit overwhelming. I'm constantly being pulled in a million different directions at once and I can't seem to keep up. My projects are demanding, people keep offering me outside work, and don't even get me started on my personal life. Ugh.

I need a vacation.

Or this..

Uggghhh.

Wow, I feel terrible.

I know that after not posting for so long, that isn't the most encoraging line, but it's so true. I went to New York ComicCon on Saturday and I ate something that has absolutely destroyed my digestive system. Right now, I'm surviving on coffee and a prayer because for some unknown reason, my finicky stomach seems to have a weakness for hot, caffinated beverages. Go figure.

Although, with the exception of this crippling food poisoning, the Con was amazing.
I met Andrew Bell.
Seriously.
Andrew Bell.
(for those of you who live under a rock, click here so you can understand my obsession.)

He is literally my favorite illustrator, and there he was behind the Dead Zebra booth just chillin and moving some Oh No Sushi around like he wasn't a monster-creating god.

"i'm not talking to you right now.."

I mean, c'mon, just look at that! Andrew Bell is amazing and it took everything I had not to just hug him and cry like a baby.. it was a rather embarrassing urge really, but, I think, totally justified.

Also, I got tons of free books, a subscription to Bust magazine for a year for $10, and I bought an adorably creepy tote bag made by Glamour Kills.

[As a side note, I probably shouldn't have started browsing the rest of the website because now I also want this:

::sigh::]

Anyway, it really was the best fucking day ever. (Erm.. well.. with the exception of the fact that I now feel as if my internal organs are trying to escape through my throat, of course.)

Unfortunately, while I'd love to continue to sit here and type about my life, I have a feeling I'm going to start to get a little too personal. I have some decisions to make.. thankfully I have some great sounding boards that don't involve the internet. Hopefully everything will be sorted out soon.. I hate waiting.

Music and a reality check.

I really should be working right now...

Instead, I'm sitting here watching Juno and downloading tons 'o music courtesy of my friend Dave's suggestions. I really really really should be working. ::sigh::

It's an uncomplicated decision though; to work or not to work, to allow myself to be distracted or to buckle down and get some shit done. If only every decision were that simple. If only. I suppose I just live a complicated life.

This morning was decidedly uncomplicated though, as anything with my Boo, Paul, usually is. I got an adorable new t-shirt and a mustard colored (shocking, I know) scarf as we wandered around the crappy mall enjoying each other's company for the first time in weeks. My new philosophy of only surrounding myself with non-crappy people seems to be really working out, thankfully.

Anyway, work is calling me and I suppose I should answer. Maybe lettering and Greek costumes will be more distracting than the Mystery Jets, although I doubt it.

P.S. I want this bag. Badly. Seriously. Look at it. You know you want it too.

The Adventures of Kate and Nikki (and why today totally rocked!)

So, in case you couldn't tell by the title because you're either a moron or blind, in which case I can't imagine how you'd be reading this anyway but whatevs - today totally rocked.

I mean, I knew it was going to be pretty amazing since I was going to lunch with the super-duper, completely amazing Kate, but it got epic fast. We ate at On the Border and indulged in dessert; afterwards we decided to head to Michaels. I thought Kate needed to pick something up for class.. it turns out she just wanted to tempt me with more adorable silly bandz.

Yeah, I said silly bandz. Deal with it.

Anyway, she had given me this adorable opaque yellow sheep at the restaurant and at Michaels we ended up buying a dessert pack, a dino pack, and a farm animal pack. Yeah, we went a little nuts. I ended up going from no silly bandz to this:

.....an awesome collection of uber-cute dinosaurs, sweet treats, and fluffy animals! This is the effect Kate has on me. She seriously takes my cuteness to the next level.

Michaels also had some fab stuff on sale including some mustard colored gardening gloves, a rubber band ball, this eraser...

and this California Condor...

(No, it's not a vulture.. don't even ask.)

So, by the time I dropped Kate off at her class, I was beyond eccstatic. What I didn't know was that things were about to get even better! (I know you're asking how could they, but I'm serious here, they do)

This bag was waiting for me when I got home. Seriously. It was waiting for me in all of its gorgeousness.

Inside were these two adorable little boxes filled with (what else?) cupcakes!

I am telling you right now that Crumbs cupcakes are my one true vice. They’re like uncut cocaine, pure and perfect. I swear their frosting is like God’s gift to mankind – this is why there’s war and famine, something had to balance out all that frosting-y goodness. And damn were they good. I mean, DAMN.

Oh, and apparently, according to this menu at least, they make cupcakes the size of your head.
I may have just died and gone to heaven.
::squee::

And then (oh yes, there's more) I got a package in the mail from a wonderful friend of mine..

She made me a hat. A georgeous, perfect, adorable hat that fits me perfectly and that I never ever want to take off. Tomorrow I'm going to text her and tell her how wonderful she is. :)

So kids, the moral of the story is that I know some truly unique, truly amazing people who make my life so rich and so worth it. I know I couldn't get through a day without them and I wouldn't want to try. I love you guys.

Tomorrow and Saturday should be just as epic... again, I'll keep you posted.

Reasons I'm a dork... and a little sick in the head.

Now that I'm back in school and I require constant inspiration/distraction/motivation, it seems I'm more inclined to let my inner nut-job take over. I'm reading nerdy Lord of the Rings fanfiction, I'm watching Murder, She Wrote and Golden Girl marathons, and all I can think about are fluffy plushies and frosting. I mean, here I am, 20 years old watching High School Musical 2 and giggling like a 12 year old school girl. Not to mention the fact that this amazing movie experience was preceeded by two episodes of Phineus and Ferb and a trashy romance novel (and I still want that damn Perry the Platypus plush!).


I'm beginning to think I'm almost too odd for my own good....

Or that art school is making me even more of a freak than I was before....

God, I shudder to think.. I was practically unlovable before, but now with my super-duper freak flag flying, I have a feeling I'm going to be scaring people away left and right with my obnoxious need to share everything and my lack of consideration for social mores and the feelings of others. Oh well, bring it on. Can't say I ever really liked people anyway. Besides, there are so many nerdy things to do, and so little time to do them!


Plus, according to Stuff No One Told Me (aka my bible):
Seems like everything will work out just fine... after all, this is pretty much the story of my life.